Finding Me In The Middle

Empowering each other through personal success stories

It’s a hot September day in 2017 in Southwest Florida. I’m sitting in my car, parked in the driveway of my very first paying client. I’m early—just a few minutes—but my heart is pounding, and I can barely catch my breath. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm the voice in my head whispering, What if I don’t know what to say? What if it doesn’t work? What if they don’t get better?

And then I see her. A warm smile walks toward me, waving me in. That moment marked the beginning of my official journey as a coach. I had done plenty of free coaching before, but this was different. This was a paid session. Something about exchanging money made it feel more real—and scarier. It was the first big step into a new identity.

Looking back now, I see that this moment taught me something powerful: stepping into something new always involves fear. But there are ways to work through that fear. I want to share the framework that helped me move forward—the same one I use with my clients. I call it the ABCs of starting something new in midlife. It’s simple and easy to remember (even when we can’t remember where we left our glasses an hour ago).

A is for Acknowledge.

This is where we begin—by getting honest about where we are. It’s like assessing the situation before building a house. You don’t just start buying wood and bricks without a plan. You first look at your finances, your resources, your emotional capacity. You ask, Am I ready? What do I need? You check in with yourself—financially, emotionally, relationally—and you lay it all out. That’s the foundation.

It was no different for me. When I began this journey, I had to acknowledge the parts of my life that weren’t working. I was deeply frustrated in my marriage, overwhelmed by raising six children, and carrying a quiet ache for something more. I wanted clarity, fulfillment, and freedom. I wanted to learn to really love my children in an accepting and empowering way. Not in the strict “do as I say” way that I was taught. I wanted to learn to do life without my mom who passed away when I was six years old. That’s when I hired my first mentor—a decision that changed everything. Her impact on my life was healing, a quiet healing and it lit a fire in me. I wanted to help others the same way she had helped me. That calling became the seed of my coaching practice.

B is for Believe.

Once you know where you are, it’s time to start dreaming about where you want to go. Just like you browse home listings and start visualizing your dream kitchen or cozy reading nook, you begin to imagine a different kind of life—one that feels more aligned with who you really are.

Midlife is the perfect time for this. Contrary to what culture tells us, it’s not a decline or a crisis—it’s a new beginning. It’s a time when wisdom, experience, and perspective come together. But for many of us, especially women, dreaming doesn’t come easily. We’ve spent years putting ourselves on the back burner. We’ve told ourselves it’s selfish to think about what we want. I grew up with that belief too—that focusing on myself was self-centered, even ungodly.

But the truth is, when we feel better about ourselves, we show up better for the people around us. We need to reframe midlife as an opportunity—not a limitation—an opportunity that unlocks courage. Starting something new isn’t “starting over.” It’s building on everything you’ve already lived and learned.

C is for Commit.

This is where it gets real.You commit to the house and start the process of a down payment. 

 Dreaming is beautiful, but dreaming alone won’t change your life. You have to do something. You commit to taking small, manageable steps forward—just like making a down payment on that house. It’s the moment you say, I’m doing this, even if you don’t have it all figured out yet.

In 2016, I made my own commitment. I searched for a certification program, spoke with multiple coaches, and eventually said yes to a yearlong course. I paid the fee. I showed up. I learned everything I could about communication, transformation, and emotional tools. I loved every minute of it.

With every step, my confidence grew. I began forming a new identity—not the old one shaped by fear or guilt, but one rooted in self-worth and purpose. I stepped into an “I can” identity. I learned to say, I am enough. I am worthy of good relationships. I can use my gifts. I can rest. I can just be myself. And yes, there was guilt. Guilt for resting. Guilt for saying no. Guilt for doing less. That guilt is wired into many of us from post-war generation conditioning. But I kept going, because courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s taking action in spite of it.

So, will you commit to a more fulfilled life? Will you take that first step today?

Let’s circle back to the client I mentioned at the beginning of this story. She and her husband showed up with an open heart and a willingness to do the work. Together, after many tears, we turned their challenges into breakthroughs. Their marriage started to shift. Communication improved. Their shared vision for the future started coming to life. And then, one day, long after our sessions had ended, I saw her again. She was glowing. She smiled at me with tears in her eyes and whispered, “We’re having another baby.”

That wasn’t just a win for her—it was a win for me, too. Coaching her changed my life. It gave me momentum. It gave me proof that this calling was real. And it reminded me that transformation is always possible, no matter your age or circumstances.

I started writing a new chapter in my midlife story. And you can too. I believe in you. I can’t wait to see what you create when you start believing in yourself.

Watching her transformation reminded me not only of the power of this work, but also of how far I’ve come—and how deeply grateful I am to witness women reclaim their lives, just as I have reclaimed mine.

Isabelle Stephenson

Life Coach for women in midlife

www.isabellestephenson.com